Lately, I’ve found myself battling with describing things (or Show, Don’t Tell) versus just stating them. For example, the difference between:
But as they circled around the parking lot, Cian felt his heart rate pick up and his palms get sweaty.
And
But as they circled around the lot, looking for parking, Cian felt himself start to get nervous.
This was something I found myself writing as a revised chapter for my story Hide and Seek. In the first one (Show, Don’t Tell), I simply mentioned them circling around the lot, assuming that the readers will link this to looking for parking; and I mention Cian’s heart speeding up and his palms getting sweaty as symptoms for nervousness.
Or, that’s what I was aiming for.
In the second, though, there’s no description, no “beating around the bush”- They’re looking for parking. Cian’s nervous.
My writing teacher at school, Dianne, has been having us do exercises lately to practice Show, Don’t Tell; however, I’ve also heard people say that SDT is horrible, and you should just go right out and say things.
Personally, I think that as a reader, I’m definitely a fan of SDT; I feel that it lets me get into the character’s head more. It’s one thing to read “XXX feels XXX”, but if you get a description, I feel like (when it’s done well, at least) I can really feel what the character’s are feeling.
But, in a deviantART journal post that I read earlier by an author/cosplayer whom I like, Jenn/TealPirate/FlamboyantWreck, she brings up the point that if authors use too much description, it can clutter up the book and leave less room for the reader to imagine it themselves.
What are your thoughts? Should authors describe things as vividly as they can, or leave it up to the reader to imagine? Should authors SDT, or just state things outright?
But as they circled around the parking lot, Cian felt his heart rate pick up and his palms get sweaty.
And
But as they circled around the lot, looking for parking, Cian felt himself start to get nervous.
This was something I found myself writing as a revised chapter for my story Hide and Seek. In the first one (Show, Don’t Tell), I simply mentioned them circling around the lot, assuming that the readers will link this to looking for parking; and I mention Cian’s heart speeding up and his palms getting sweaty as symptoms for nervousness.
Or, that’s what I was aiming for.
In the second, though, there’s no description, no “beating around the bush”- They’re looking for parking. Cian’s nervous.
My writing teacher at school, Dianne, has been having us do exercises lately to practice Show, Don’t Tell; however, I’ve also heard people say that SDT is horrible, and you should just go right out and say things.
Personally, I think that as a reader, I’m definitely a fan of SDT; I feel that it lets me get into the character’s head more. It’s one thing to read “XXX feels XXX”, but if you get a description, I feel like (when it’s done well, at least) I can really feel what the character’s are feeling.
But, in a deviantART journal post that I read earlier by an author/cosplayer whom I like, Jenn/TealPirate/FlamboyantWreck, she brings up the point that if authors use too much description, it can clutter up the book and leave less room for the reader to imagine it themselves.
What are your thoughts? Should authors describe things as vividly as they can, or leave it up to the reader to imagine? Should authors SDT, or just state things outright?
Well, i read Jenn's post too, and i think that SDT is defanetly good, i like it a lot, it helps me get into the characters head, but i also agree with Jenn, that when overused, leaves no room for the imagination.
ReplyDeletelike how you wrote the first discrpition,it has emotion in it, and tells me what's happening without draging on, like i can imagine that he's shifting uncomftorbly in his seat and maybe wipeing his palms on his pants, without you telling me, and you don't need to TELL me that their looking for parking, or that the lot's rather full, i can guess.
while the second one is... well boring.
it tells me what's happening yeah, but it's just telling me, it's not showing me, i can't get into the characters head that way.
hope that was helpfull. XD
Yes, thanks <3 I'm going back and re-writing parts of "Hide and Seek" right now, trying to fix exactly this problem.
ReplyDelete...Meh. You have such a nice answer, I wish I could think of a better response XD But srsly, thanks though. Feedback is love <3.